Price
by SilverCrystal029
Summary: Someone wants to show Elliot there's a price he has to pay. The best way they know how: Through Olivia.
1. Fallout

The bruises had almost faded away off of Olivia's skin. They told the horror filled story of the ordeal she and her partner had gone through barely a week ago. The precinct was buzzing with whispers but only because the pair refused to address it with anyone. Until now. Whatever Elliot had said to their captain meant they had to undergo a rigorous psych eval and even possibly reassignment. And she was pissed.

Fin took it upon himself to intercept her, catching the worried and quite helpless look on Munch's face.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" He started, catching the wild look in her eyes.

"Did you say that to my partner? He's back. I know that based on the call Cragen just made to me." Fin's eyes softened.

"Liv. We're on the same side. You know that, right?" She huffed, not placated by his olive branch. "And you know what you and Elliot went through was _different_ , right?" Her nostrils flared.

"Of course I do." She answered, her jaw clenched tight.

"He's being honest about his feelings for once in his catholic life. Don't go after him-" She broke away from Fin when she saw her partner.

"Elliot! Elliot, what the hell!" She crossed the precinct floor, her left arm bouncing in a sling. His face was as white as a ghost.

"Liv..."

"What the hell were you thinking? What did you say to Cragen-"

"The truth." He said, cutting her off. He avoided her eyes. "You shouldn't be here. You look exhausted." He reached for her arm but she yanked away from him.

"Don't you realize what the results of whatever you said could be?" He was growing frustrated, trying to find a semblance of normalcy after it all.

"Olivia-" She jerked away again.

"I am fine with everything that happened. Not sure when I'll get over you agreeing to a different assignment or a different partner if that's what it takes." With that she turned and disappeared as fast as she had showed up.

 _Elliot struggled against the chains, feeling his skin bruise and tear. Olivia was barely conscious. She hadn't even done anything, that was the worst part. Elliot was fine albeit restrained. It was Olivia who was taking the brunt of the abuse._

 _"Now you're gonna know what it's like. What it's like to watch someone you love hurt when there's nothing you can do. This is your fault, Stabler. This is the price you pay." He said, unbuckling his pants_

 _"Don't." He said. "Don't do it. Just hurt me. Stab me. KILL me. She wasn't even my partner-" He shook his head. "Don't-"_


	2. Treatment

George was worried when he saw the space between SVU partners on his couch. They used to be an example of codependence. Of being too close. Now, it was like they didn't understand each other. Like they were two different species. Olivia couldn't stop fidgeting, full of anxious and explosive energy. Elliot sat, sagging. Stone still. Frozen in time by this trauma.

George tried to small. "Would anyone like to start with anything?" Elliot's eyes slide to Olivia, who's hands were twiddling.

"He should. Since he is the one who thought this is necessary." Olivia said after a while, her eyes never leaving George's face. Elliot huffed.

"Olivia, I didn't-" A piercing stare cut him of mid sentence.

"This isn't an attack. On anybody." They both cast their stares at the ground.

"Are you sure we have to do this..." He snuck another glance at Olivia. "Together." Olivia began snickering. George sighed.

"I think an important component of this treatment is working through the shared trauma together. It's your best bet at resolving this at all." They both sighed.

"I still remember... Getting back to the precinct after court..." Elliot said suddenly.

 _Elliot immediately felt uneasy when he saw everyone's faces. "W-What did I do?" He questioned, sure Cragen was about to rip him a new one._

 _"Elliot," the captain began._

 _"Elliot have you had any contact with Olivia since court?" Fin asked breathlessly. His heart slammed in his chest._

 _"What?" He answered quickly. Cragen stepped in close._

 _"It's important, Elliot. Anything at all?" Terrified, Elliot shook his head no. Munch hit his thigh in frustration._

 _"That's what we were afraid of. Elliot, Olivia's gone rogue since you were in court. Cragen sent her to take a victim's statement. She never showed." Munch explained, watching the color drain from Elliot's face._

 _Fin stepped close and placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "We think she's in danger."_

Olivia chuckled bitterly. "How did you feel when you got back?" George asked softly. Elliot huffed.

"Guilty. I was in court and she was..." He trailed off, his throat tightening. Olivia scoffed.

"Elliot. How can it be your fault I got kidnapped?" She said suddenlt, picking at her nail polish. "I was careless. Comfortable. Not focused and I... I let myself get kidnapped." she grew quiet suddenly, angry tears forming in her eyes.

"Olivia," George interjected. "Our perp stalked you. For months. Noticed your partner patterns. When you were most likely to go somewhere alone. Where you live. You can hardly blame yourself for someone trying so viciously to harm you." Olivia avoided his eyes, still so angry at herself.

"If I had had my own back we wouldn't be here, we'd be out there solving cases!" She threw her hands up in frustration, causing Elliot to flinch.

George smiled sadly. "It's not that simple, Olivia."

 _The storage unit was spinning. At least, thanks to Olivia's suspected concussion. Sunlight blared through the cracks. Olivia tried to wriggle free of the rope burning her wrists to no avail. Blood trickled down her nose into her mouth, causing her to sputter._

 _She groaned, the rag tied around her mouth making her jaw hurt. She jumped as she heard someone messing with the lock on the door. She screamed, knowing it was either someone to save her or her captir. She flailed with all her might but the ropes wouldn't loosen._

 _She gasped when Elliot appeared, bolt cutters in hand. He was breathing heavily, so relieved he had made it to her in time. Tears of joy streaked down her face but suddenly, her eyes wide, she was screaming. Elliot just couldn't understand what she was trying to say._

 _"Behind you!" He was out before he tumbled to the ground, an aluminum bat to the head doing the trick. She screamed and screaned, her captor standing behind the incapacitated Elliot. An evil look in his eyes._


	3. Fear

She hadn't told Dr. Huang this, but one way Olivia fought against the relentless turmoil was sex. Lots of it. Cumming was the only time her brain didn't hurl insults at herself, so angry and fearful that after everything else she would lose the only thing she had. Her partner.

The therapy (at least in her eyes) wasn't helpful. She was no less angry and Elliot still could barely look at her. Until now it had been voluntary, and as she had her loins vicously tossed she was thinking about just refusing. Everything else had gone wrong, she might as well face the music.

She cried out and tossed her head back, in so much pleasure she was almost in pain. Years ago she promised herself (after working a case with her fed ex Andy Eckerson) that she would never date him again. But this wasn't dating. And besides, after the few weeks she'd had even risk taking behavior sounded nice.

They'd been going at it in her bed for almost an hour and a half, dead to the world. That is, until their metaphorical banging transformed to literal banging. At the door. "Are we being that loud?" Olivia huffed to herself. This caught a look from Andy because he was _certain_ that they were.

An animalistic sneer on her face, she rolled out the bed and slipped into a short robe. Andy watched as she grabbed her weapon and headed towards the door. Not one to be outdone he slipped into his boxer briefs and followed her, his gun behind his back.

"Who's there?!" Olivia screamed, preparing to open her door. She opened it quickly and dropped her weapon to see it was only Elliot, standing red-faced at her door. She lowered Andy's gun, who turned and retreated back into Olivia's room.

" _Elliot_?" He stood, breaths tumbling out heavily, and stared at her.

"You," he breathed, pointing. "You didn't..." He came in without invitation, Olivia placing her hands haughtily on her hips. "You didn't answer, Liv. You didn't answer..." Olivia's shoulders sagged tiredly when she realized how scared he had been when he couldn't contact her. Thinking of the last time that happened and truly how many enemies they both had.

"Elliot..." Andy appeared in her hallway fully dressed, somehow feeling like he was third wheeling.

"Hey, Livvie. I'm gonna go..." He called quickly, neither of them really noticing. He slipped out, grateful to be gone

Olivia felt so guilty, not meaning to ignore Elliot because she knew this would be his response. "I'm sorry I didn't hear my phone." She said, her voice gentler than it'd been in days. Elliot just breathed his eyes darting everywhere but Olivia.

"I thought you were..." He trailed off, realizing it was pointless now to continue the thought. " He stole a glance at her. "Andy? Really? Really, Olivia." She winced instinctually, knowing he was gonna acknowledge that.

"We have different ways of dealing, Elliot. You've been working out. Non-stop." She chased his stare until she caught it. He stared at her for a moment, wondering how she could even tell.

"How-"

"I know everything about you, Elliot." She said, her voice pained. "Every time we had to go on stakeouts in motels. You worked out the entire time." Her eyes slide down his physique. "You're about to bust out of your button-ups. Just working out, hoping next time you'll be able to rip free of rope or metal chains." Her gaze dropped as he took a shaky seat.

"I work out constantly. Kathy, the kids. They're gone." Olivia leapt to her feet.

"What?! Right now? When you need them, Elliot. Really?" He shook his head, his eyes spacing out.

"I told them. I told them to go." Olivia took a few steps back, so confused by the person who had replaced her partner.

"I'm sorry, Elliot, but what the fuck?" He jumped up suddenly, causing her heart to slam in her throat.

"I-" He reached out to grab her but dropped his arms. "The things I did to you..." Olivia shook her head in protest.

"Elliot, stop-"

"I don't want them near me." He stared brokenly at her, his body sagging. He was so tired of being tired. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it.

"You didn't do anything to me, Elliot." Their eyes finally met. She went closer to him. "You could never do anything to hurt me. And I couldn't do anything to hurt you. We both know that." Elliot suddenly began to panic as she became closer to him. It was like in his worry he forgot how damn uncomfortable he was around her now.

He backed off, stumbling. "You're okay. I just came to make sure..." Olivia started to follow but she stopped herself. As awful as it felt she was Elliot's trigger, and pursuing wouldn't help either of them.

"Just tell me what I have to do." She called out as he opened the door. He froze, guilt filling his stomach.

"You didn't- It's not your _fault_." He sighed a heavy sigh, looking back at her. "Give therapy a chance. It's our only real chance to get through this." Like a ghost he disappeared through the cracked door, leaving Olivia alone.


	4. Guilt

_Elliot struggled against the chains, feeling his skin bruise and tear. Olivia was barely conscious. She hadn't even done anything, that was the worst part. Elliot was fine albeit restrained. It was Olivia who was taking the brunt of the abuse._

 _"Now you're gonna know what it's like. What it's like to watch someone you love hurt when there's nothing you can do. This is your fault, Stabler. This is the price you pay." He said, unbuckling his pants_

 _"Don't." He said. "Don't do it. Just hurt me. Stab me. KILL me. She wasn't even my partner-" He shook his head. "Don't-"_

 _The man paused in his assault on Olivia, looking down at her. He stooped despite Elliot's protests and grabbed her head. She cried out in pain, blood smeared on the side of her face._

 _"Olivia!"_

 _"Honey, do you even know who I am?" He breathed into her face. She groaned, but it wasn't really an answer. He spit in her face suddenly, causing her to cry out. Elliot was screaming and growling, his teeth gnashing._

 _The man laughed. "I'm Simon. Simon Tate. You sure know who I am." He pointed at Elliot who was bashing himself against the pipe he was tied against. "But you weren't there. Your partner locked up my brother, Victor Tate. For a rape he didn't commit." Olivia moaned again, causing helpless tears to spring to Elliot's eyes._

 _"She wasn't there, Simon-"_

 _"But you were there when your partner went to his cell and PROMISED him you would have him exonerated for your mistake?" He was yelling now, making Olivia's head buzz._

 _"This was my mistake-" Elliot tried, but he wouldn't listen._

 _"You know what he did after you told him he was getting out? He hung himself with his bed sheets. It took him four days to die in a prison infirmary." He stared at Elliot, seething._

 _"Simon. I'm sorry." It was then he remembered his train of thought, unbuckling his pants again._

 _"Not as sorry as you're about to be." Olivia screamed as Simon rolled her over, his hands reaching for her pants._

 _"Simon, don't-"_

"Please," Olivia said, gasping for breath. "No more." Both George and Elliot leaned in worriedly, watching to see if she'd have a full blown panic attack. She inhaled hard, forcing herself not to hyphervenhilate.

"Do you need a break, Olivia?" George asked sympathtically. She cleared her throat. Both her and Elliot said 'yes' at the same time. He nodded, leaning back. Olivia just breathed for what felt like a long time and Elliot just listened to be sure she was calming down. George just watched, carefully.

"This is the most in sync you guys have been since the ordeal, and I think I know why." They both looked up at him and then each other. "You love each other too much to blame the other. But you're both driven by an impulse to blame _something_. The only option in this situation is yourself." They both looked at the ground.

"Olivia, the last thing you want to be reduced to and used for is,"

"Hurting Elliot." She finished, hugging herself. George nodded.

"Right. Elliot, Simon was attached to your case you couldn't resolve. Olivia is your partner sworn to protect. And no matter how you slice it you feel you broke that oath and crossed boundaries." Elliot balled his fists, angry at how right he was.

"So, how." Said Elliot suddenly. "Are we supposed to move through it?" George smiled.

"By accepting it. By truly reflecting on it with out an angle to help soften the blow of what really happened. When you're ready, that is." Elliot and Olivia looked at each other.

"We can try."


	5. Blame

Casey looked at Cragen, her eyebrow cocked. They stood outside the interrogation room, watching Olivia and Elliot's interrogation tensely. "Are you sure they're ready?" She asked after a while. He nodded.

"Huang says they're making progress. Munch and Fin are in court. Do we have a choice?" She sighed, knowing the answer to that. But that didn't mean she wanted to blow this case.

Olivia circled the table like a shark, glaring at their suspect. "Is that why, Harris? You can't get it up? So you beat women senselessly?" Harris smiled up at her, turning to face Elliot.

"She's pretty sweet. How many times did you fuck her to break her in-" He barely finished the sentence before Elliot snatched him up by the collar, his eyes black.

"Elliot?" She said suddenly, watching him raise a shaking fist. "Ellliot, wait. Stop!" He slammed Harris on the table, the bang echoing through the small room. "Elliot,"

He leaned over into Harris' cowering face. "What did you say?" His hand now gripped Harris' neck, squeezing tightly. Olivia was trying to pry him off now, Casey and Cragen rushing in to help.

"Enough, Elliot!" Casey screamed. Cragen shoved Elliot forcefully away from the suspect.

"That's enough!" He roared, Elliot's face beet red. "Both of you, out of here. Now!" Elliot rushed out and didn't stop walking until he was out the precinct. Cragen caught Olivia before she could slink away too.

"Now I have been more than understanding," Cragen began. "But our cases and our credibility are suffering because of you two." Olivia's gaze fell to the floor. "Now. Your both on paid time off. And you aren't coming back without written permission from Dr. Huang and I'm being generous."

Olivia shook her head. "But captain-"

"Work it out." He interrupted, stalking around her to his office.

* * *

 _"Elliot." He heard her but he said nothing, trying to listen to or see something that might tell him what time it was. Tate had stepped out and they both knew he might be ready to finish everything the next time he came back. "Elliot."_

 _He shh'd her instinctually. "Don't talk, preserve your energy." He barked, his brow frowning with worry. Simon had taken it all out on Olivia, and Elliot couldn't feel any worse about it. She blinked determinedly._

 _"Elliot. If you get free, you need to go." She said calmly, causing Elliot to yank at his restraints._

 _"Are you crazy!" He cried out, his face red. "I'll never leave you-"_

 _"I won't make it." She said, getting exasperated because they didn't have much time. "My ankle is blown out, my shoulder is probably dislocated, my ribs..." She trailed off as he realized she wasn't going anywhere fast._

 _"All reasons why I'm not leaving you." He answered, frowning. Olivia blew on her hair._

 _"Elliot, I'm serious. If you get out you have to go. I can't-" Tears interrupted Olivia, making Elliot feel utterly helpless and terrified. "You can get help."_

 _"I'm not leaving."_

"How did that make you feel?" George asked after a tense moment. Elliot snorted.

"What?"

"Not being able to protect Olivia." The words stung him and he leaned back. All he could think about was how many times she had backed his play and got him out of trouble. She needed him and he hadn't been any help.

Elliot sighed. "It made me feel smaller than anything else in the world had." Olivia made a small sound. She looked at Elliot in surprise.

"Elliot, you've never failed to protect me, ever." He dropped his gaze from her eyes.

"You know I did, Liv." George watched carefully.

"You both have to reflect on things that happened without trying to assign blame. Or remove it." Elliot and Olivia exchanged unsure glances. "Why don't I give you some homework. The sooner I can approve you the sooner you get back to work." Olivia and Elliot nodded wearily.

"Okay, good. You two. Go out and have a bite together after this. Hey, maybe even a drink! Just go try to have a normal moment." They nodded and rose, both wondering if they would ever have any semblance of normal with each other again.


	6. Normal

The hairs on Elliot's neck stood up on end as he watched Olivia carefully in the bar and all the men around her. Even a little broken, battered, and spiritually washed out she still lit up the dingy bar. Like a rose growing through concrete.

She was shut off to the world, knocking her drinks down like a champ. The past few weeks had been to hectic and her honey colored hair was growing uncharacteristically long. A fringe of bangs dipped past dark eyes, so soft and feminine for the tough cookie she was.

She finished her glass of citrine beer and her fingers twitched for another. Elliot frowned. "Shouldn't you slow down?" He grumbled. Her lips curled into a sneer.

"Shouldn't you have one?" Elliot looked at the untouched glass of water in front of him. He shrugged. He hadn't felt like drinking lately. Olivia rolled her eyes. "Dr. Huang asked us to go out and attempt to be normal."

Elliot opened his mouth to speak but froze as he watched a guy craned his neck to stare hungrily at Olivia who didn't even notice. He suppressed the growl in his throat. "I don't think you knocking down 5 drinks in an hour is normal, Olivia." She chuckled, jumping when Elliot grabbed her hand and prevented her from grabbing her new beer.

She sent him a dangerous, unreadable expression that made him release her, before sliding the beer over to him. "At least I'm trying to deal. Have it." He looked down hesititantly before knocking the mug back, drinking half of it.

"I am trying." He said breathlessly, setting the glass down.

"You can't even look at me, Elliot. You treat me like a pariah. Like, like you're so repulsed by me after what happened." Her voice was small now, drowned out by the noisy bar.

"I've never been repulsed by you. Ever." He downed the rest of his beer and waved down the bartender. He ordered two dark shots and another beer. He slid one over to her and stared ahead, his expression blank. "I'm repulsed by myself." He said finally. "That I could do what I did to you. Something so important to me, vital..." He trailed off, staring at the bottles of liquor on the top of the bar.

"Elliot. What you did was save my life." Their eyes met finally for one long, painful moment.

"Olivia," The moment was ruined by some commotion behind them. A blonde who didn't look old enough to be in the bar was wailing, a biker tugging on her arm.

"C'mon." He grunted, trying to drag her towards the door. Before Elliot could say otherwise Olivia was on her feet, moving surprisingly well for someone who'd had a liquid dinner.

"Liv-" Elliot tried but she had already approached them.

"I'm sorry, do we have a problem here?" She asked, a dangerous look on her face. She hated bikers. He looked her up and down and sneered.

"No, we sure don't." He said with a grin, before pulling Olivia close. "But I reckon we could make one." His hand slithered down her back and on her behind. Olivia gave a surprised gasp. In seconds she had grabbed his arm and flipped him onto the bar, multiple people fleeing.

"I'm NYPD. Big mistake." Olivia whispered in his ear. Elliot watched as the rest of the biker gang finally noticed, and they didn't seem happy.

"Let him go, bitch!" Another yelled, raising a beer bottle. Elliot grabbed him quickly, holding his hands behind his back. Soon he was pinned to the bar as well.

"Elliot Stabler. NYPD As well." he flashed his badge quickly and everyone backed off.

"Now, unless you wanna spend tomorrow in lock-up, I suggest you and your little friends go stink up another joint." Elliot and Olivia let them both go in unison.

"You cops are fuckin' crazy." Said Olivia's assailant, before quickly exiting the bar with the rest of the gang. The bar was silent for a moment before the sounds slowly picked up again. Once they were in the clear Olivia and Elliot busted out laughing. It felt like an eternity since the last time they laughed.

"Let's get out of here." Said Elliot after a while, handing Olivia her jacket.

...

"So," George began optimistically. "How was dinner the other night?" Their smiles were small but hopeful. Olivia looked warmly at Elliot.

"Uh, pretty normal I think." She answered. Elliot nodded.

"I guess I would say so."


	7. Consent

"I think it's time. We've made a lot of progress. We've processed a lot of feelings about these events." Elliot and Olivia looked unsurely at each other. "Let's talk about what happened. Between you two." Elliot swallowed, his throat dry. Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Are you ready?" Elliot asked, his eyes staring through the wall. She sighed.

"Yeah. I guess so."

 _"But you were there when your partner went to his cell and PROMISED him you would have him exonerated for your mistake?" He was yelling now, making Olivia's head buzz._

 _"This was my mistake-" Elliot tried, but he wouldn't listen._

 _"You know what he did after you told him he was getting out? He hung himself with his bed sheets. It took him four days to die in a prison infirmary." He stared at Elliot, seething._

 _"Simon. I'm sorry." It was then he remembered his train of thought, unbuckling his pants again._

 _"Not as sorry as you're about to be." Olivia screamed as Simon rolled her over, his hands reaching for her pants._

 _"Simon, don't-" And he actually froze. His mind thought of something, maybe even worse. He revealed the gun he'd stolen from Elliot and pointed it at him._

 _"I'm gonna release you." Silence hung around them._

 _"What?" Elliot breathed._

 _"And this gun will be on her the entire time. So if you try anything, anything at all, I'll blow her brains all over this unit. Don't think I won't." Elliot shut his eyes, muttering a prayer. Olivia moaned in protest but nobody paid her any mind. Slowly, Simon moved behind Elliot and began jingling the chains wrapped tightly around him._

 _Elliot sighed as the chains dropped, terrified of what was about to happen. Simon sneered at him. "That's a good boy." Elliot winced. He shoved him forward. "Take your pants off." Both he and Olivia's eyes went saucer wide._

 _"No-"_

 _"NOW." They both flinched at Simon's voice, his gun clanking in his hand. "Or else." He moved quickly over to Olivia, who screamed. He yanked the gag out of her mouth and she began yelling as he shoved his gun in her mouth._

 _"Simon!"_

 _"I told you, I'm fucking serious! I'll chip her got damn teeth if you don't strip. Now." Olivia cried, choking hard on her own spit and snot, making Elliot want to just break down and cry. As if someone else controlled his body he hesitantly started to unbuckle his belt. Simon began cackling._

 _"I can't..." Elliot began._

 _"It is either you. Or me. And I've been preparing for this day with all sorts of strange." Olivia whimpered in protest. "The way I see it..." Simon continued. "The only way to make sure to make sure what happened to my brother doesn't happen to anyone else is to make you not wan't to be a sex crimes detective." Elliot hung his head._

 _"Do whatever to me, leave her-"  
_

 _"You are her. You're gonna feel what I felt, watching my brother drown on account of your mistakes. Now she's paying for them too. Drop your pants." He raised the gun for effect, causing Olivia to flinch. Growling out of frustration, Elliot complied. He felt like he was about to be sick._

 _"Now, over there. Now!" Elliot flinched, moving disjointedly closer to Olivia. His body was trembling. He'd never felt the emotions he was feeling right now before._

 _"Elliot," Olivia gasped. "It's okay. Do what you have to do-"_

 _"Olivia..." Elliot looked down at her broken form. She needed a doctor. Bad. He couldn't imagine touching her, not in this way._

 _"It's okay, El. I'll be fine." She tried to smile but she didn't fool her partner._

 _"No you won't." He answered quietly, his voice cracking._

 _"Lose your underwear, Stabler. We haven't got all day." He blinked, tears squeezing past blue eyes._

 _"Olivia."_

"Olivia." It was like all the air was sucked back into the room. Elliot was standing, sweating. And Olivia was by his side.

"El. I'm right here." She said, an anxious looks in her eyes. Elliot looked around. He wasn't trapped in the storage unit. He was beside Olivia in Dr. Huang's office.

"Elliot. Are you okay?" George asked softly. Elliot flinched a little as Olivia touched his arm, soon leaning into her touch.

"Yeah..." He said after a deep breath. "Yeah." George nodded, and Olivia gently guided Elliot back down to the couch.

"Maybe this will end up being a good stopping point for today, we made a lot of progress." He smiled tiredly, it wasn't necessarily easy shrinking his friends and colleagues. Especially after such a trauma heavy event. He felt like he needed a good therapy session himself after.

"No, no. I can keep going, I just..." He trailed off, still breathing shallowly.

"El." It was Olivia's voice that made him feel like he could breathe again. "We covered a lot today, why don't we take a break here." Her voice was soft, reasonable. How he remembered it. He nodded.

"Okay, fine. Let me take you home."


	8. Sirens

Olivia laid flat on her back in bed, staring at the ceiling. Elliot had taken her home, walked her in, and was edging out the door when she called for him.

"Stay," She'd said. "A little longer?" He was sitting in a chair at her bedside before she'd finish talking.

"What's the matter?" He asked breathlessly, her anxious vibe worrying him. She smiled weakly.

"I'm scared." She answered honestly, her small voice tugging at his chest.

"Of what?" He asked her, his muscles tense. Her gaze dropped from him.

"Of finishing therapy. After all this... That when we confront what happened to us the damage will be too large to overcome." Elliot opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was just as scared as she was and barely holding it together. Olivia was all he had, what would he do if he lost her again? What would she do? He sighed and tried to find words to comfort her, comfort himself.

"I think the fact we made it this far means we can make it." He answered carefully. Olivia nodded, her eyes darting around the room.

"I don't blame you, at all. For any of it. I never have." She said suddenly, making Elliot suddenly feel small. He exhaled, clasping his hands together and leaning forward on his knees.

"I know that." He said after a moment.

"I wish you'd stop blaming yourself." He fought the urge to say 'I can't.' He looked into Olivia's large, dark eyes and wondered what he ever did to deserve her. Anybody else would've filed for a new partner a long time ago, not fight tooth and nail to keep him. He chuckled helplessly, the bags under his eyes feeling especially large.

"I'll try." He said, his smile tense. Olivia laughed to herself and looked at her own twiddling thumbs.

"Would you..." She paused, her eyes sliding to Elliot. "Would you get in bed with me, Elliot? I haven't been in bed with someone and not..." She cut herself off, suddenly embarrassed and worried she'd upset him. She was surprised when he stood silently and shuffled near her, hesitantly laying on the bed. She watched him carefully, surprised he had complied at all. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. He was happy to find her proximity comforting, not alarming.

"Thank you." Olivia said tiredly, turning over on her side and shutting her eyes. Elliot just grunted, watching Olivia's sleeping form like a hawk.

* * *

 _When Elliot was done he felt a void in his chest. He was so ashamed and alarmed at himself for having complied with anything Simon Tate had asked. It was a secret blessing that Olivia was barely conscious towards the end. Elliot had been dutiful, mindful of her many injuries and afflictions at the hands of Simon. But he had ravaged her there was no way around that. It felt as right as it did wrong. They had both been certain, especially after Kathy had left and come back, that if this hadn't happened then it would never happen. How wrong they were..._

 _His shirt was still on and his pants and underwear were around his ankles. Olivia's had been removed a long time ago. Her blood stained blue button up hung open, her bra hanging off her in tatters. Streaks of dry blood had made their way down most of her exposed skin. She stared at the ceiling and struggled to keep her eyes open, her head pounding. Simon clapped, breaking the moment._

 _"Not the best but not bad either." He growled. Olivia whimpered as her vision tunneled, catching Elliot's attention._

 _"Liv-" She sobbed, causing him to take off his own shirt and drape it around her. He wiped blood off her face with his hand and noticed that her eyes were lidded and blank. "Olivia." He snapped, shaking her gently. The motion shut her eyes, making him realize she had been drifting in and out of consciousness. "Olivia come back to me." He said, anxiety seeping into his voice.  
_

 _"She's better off where she is, when she wakes up she's gonna remember what you did to her." Said Simon gleefully. Elliot gently slipped his hand behind Olivia's head, glowering at Simon._

 _"I didn't do anything, Simon. You did. Whether you realize it or not." He turned back to Olivia who was moaning with her eyes shut. Fear panged Elliot's heart. How he regretted not filling everyone in when he received the text message (that was Simon). He needed to do whatever it took to save Olivia and he couldn't risk a strong police presence. Now he was kicking himself. They were banking on TARU tracing their cell GPS or things were about to get even darker._

 _"Liv..." He said, his voice cracking. "You gotta open your eyes, I can't do this without you." She tried her best to comply, cloudy eyes focusing on Elliot with great effort.  
_

 _"El." She said, smiling dumbly. Her vision was doubled so she saw two of him. He laughed nervously and put more support behind her head. It was then the faint sound of sirens stole his attention. Finally. They had honed in on their location. Elliot leaned Olivia's head on to his chest and looked desperately at Simon._

 _"Simon. It's over. They tracked our cellphones. They know we are here." He pointed the gun at them in retaliation, causing Elliot to hunch over a vulnerable Olivia._

 _"You think I'm gonna let you leave not in a body bag? After what my brother went through?" Elliot shut his eyes, praying they somehow made it before he executed them, at least Olivia. "Now you've killed two people." Without a second thought he shoved the weapon in his mouth and pulled the trigger._

 _"NO-"_

 _"NYPD! MOVE! MOVE!" It was Fin's voice Elliot heard after the swat team busted into the storage container. "I got two NYPD down and one dead! Let's go!" He screamed, rushing over quickly to his squad mates. Cragen and Munch weren't far behind but Elliot didn't notice them, hurriedly wiping Simon's blood and Brain matter away from Olivia._

 _"Jacket," He grunted, his voice hoarse. Fin slipped quickly out of his and replaced Elliot's shirt with it._

 _"There we go," Fin said, watching Elliot carefully. He was shaking with adrenaline his eyes staring off blankly. It was PTSD if he had ever seen it. He nonchalantly kicked the gun far from the both of them, motioning over for the CSU and the paramedics to come over. "We gotta get Liv to the doctor, okay?" He said gently. Elliot barely heard him, his stare dropped to the unconscious Olivia in his arms._

 _Cragen knelt down beside Elliot with great effort, unshed tears in his eyes. "You did good. You both did good. Now it's time to get you both looked at." He said, like a father comforting their child. He finally shook his head, breaking his stupor. He slowly covered himself, pulling his pants and underwear up._

 _"I can't... I'm not leaving her." He flinched when he felt Munch's hand on his shoulder.  
_

 _"You look alright to me." Munch said, trying to smile. It was hard with Olivia laying there in bad shape."Why don't we get Olivia ready for transport and I'll see who I can bribe to let you ride along." Elliot's eyes drifted to Simon's brutalized head. Munch pulled him away gently. "C'mon. Let's go see."_

"Elliot. What do you think is the hardest part of this whole ordeal?" George asked after a long moment. Olivia was inconspicuously wiping moisture from her eyes. Elliot's were pretty watery too. He sighed, leaning back on the couch.

"That I went there to rescue my partner myself. And the only reason we are both still here is because they tracked our GPS signal. I might as well have," He cut himself off suddenly, rage making him stand and take a lap around the couch. He was breathing like a bull, so angry and hateful towards himself. "If I had just waiting a god damn minute I never would've done that to her!" He cried out, tears finally leaking down his face.

'"Elliot. You saved my life." She stood, not afraid of Elliot's outburst and quite relieved he was emoting. "I would do many more things to save my own _and_ yours." She stared up at him unflinchingly, reaching out for his hand and grabbing it. He didn't flinch. He grabbed back, staring down at the miraculous woman in front of him. "And we both know I would've done the same thing. Rush off to find you." Elliot chuckled, thinking about how stubborn they both were.

"You would, wouldn't you." George stood, grinning.

"Elliot, you don't seem uncomfortable or put off by Olivia touching you." They both looked down at their joined hands. "I think it's a very good sign."


	9. Detail

Olivia smiled and pulled away from her date on the steps of her apartment. The tall, pepper haired man grinned down at her, mesmerized to be in the presence of such a beautiful, intelligent, almost intimidating woman.

"Olivia... I had an incredible time. And, if you don't mind me being too forward I was wondering if maybe we could continue this date..." He asked her breathlessly, searching her face for a sign. She smiled but it was closer to a grimace, dancing away from his touch.

"Dan. Dinner was wonderful, I just don't know if I see anything else for us. Right now." She answered honestly, speaking gently like he was a child who might start crying. Dan sighed.

"Even just dinner was more than I ever asked for." He said, putting a little space between them. Olivia let the tension flow out of her body, grateful he had been understanding. He hailed a taxi with ease and Olivia waved as he got in and took off, watching the car retreat out of sight. Her hand hovering over her weapon she back tracked half a block, certain someone or something had been tailing her on her date.

"If you're behind there," she said, inching towards the corner of a building. "You better have a great exlpanation for-" She gasped as Elliot moved into the light of a street lamp, his face guilty like a dog who'd gotten in the trash. "Elliot?" He stood in front of her and waited for the tongue lashing that was surely coming. "Elliot, were you following me on my date?"

He sighed, trying to find words that would make sense to her. "Olivia, I'm sorry-"

"You still don't think I can watch my own back? Or are you just _jealous?_ " He squinted as she crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

"Olivia you were threatened in open court the other day." Silence hung between them, people making their way around them on the busy night. Olivia sighed.

"Yeah, well that kind of happens a lot. To both of us." Elliot stared through her with blue eyes. "We can't keep living our lives under the shadow of what happened." She said, starting slowly up her steps and not really protesting when Elliot followed.

"I know that." Elliot said plainly, opening the door for her. "But you would've caught on to an official detail following you." Olivia smiled in spite of herself as she remembered all the times she'd yelled at Elliot for ordering a protective detail for her without her consent.

"I noticed you too. I just didn't wanna spook my date." She answered with a playful grin, getting her keys out of her pocket and heading up the stairs to her apartment door. Elliot chuckled.

"How'd that go, anyways?" He asked as he entered her dark apartment. Olivia grimaced again.

"Great. We'll probably never do it again." Olivia looked behind her as she set her stuff down and noticed a strange expression on Elliot's face. "What is it?" He sat on her couch and waited for her to join him.

"Nothing, it's just..." He lost track of his thought, his mind plagued by hundreds of other memories. "You know after everything. Not knowing what was gonna happen..." The atmosphere became oppressive as they both took a moment to reflect on their shared ordeal. They were cleared to work together again and everything was almost normal. Almost.

Olivia sat on the other end of her couch and waited for Elliot to finish his thought. "Hasn't it made you take settling down with someone more seriously?" His voice was quiet now. In all the time he'd known her all he'd wanted for Olivia was to have someone. She had him, but it was inevitable that Kathy and all his kids would need him. But what about her? Certainly, she deserved it.

Olivia smiled to herself. "I think I'm as settled down as I need or want to be. Right now, anyways." She said, standing. Elliot watched her retreat towards the back of her apartment. "I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed," she called to him. "Get out of my house." Elliot chuckled to himself, slipping his shoes off.

"Nobody's at home." He answered, kicking his feet up. I'm fine sleeping right here."


End file.
